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Relationships are intricate and complicated. In a world with over 7 billion unique individuals, finding a single soul that you can connect with on a deep and personal level is truly a holy grail – a rare and cherished experience. But once you’ve found that special person, how do you maintain a strong and lasting connection? How do you ensure that you keep each other interested? That you remain loyal and true to one another? One of the biggest challenges in relationships is finding consistency in partnerships. It’s easy to be enamored with each other in the early days, but as time goes on, life gets in the way and maintaining a consistent level of closeness becomes harder and harder. In this post, we’ll explore why consistency is so elemental in relationships, and in life in general. I’ll also be offering some tips on how to find and maintain consistency within your relationships, so without further ado, let’s get into it.

Consistency is a term that is often thrown around in the context of relationships, but what exactly does it mean? Essentially, consistency refers to the ability to maintain a certain level of behavior or attitude over time. Another definition for the term ‘consistency’ is the way in which a substance “holds together” in thickness or viscosity. In the context of relationships, consistency might manifest as showing up for your partner occasionally, being emotionally available and vulnerable enough to giving and receiving love, or behaving in a certain way that your partner can depend on. At its core, consistency is all about predictability. When we have consistent behavior or attitudes from our partners, we can feel secure in the relationship and build trust over time. When trust is formed, more oxytocin ~ the love hormone that we have discussed in numerous stacyrahaka.com blog posts ~ is released, and we feel a sense of community and confidence in the people whom we depend on. On the other hand, when there is inconsistency, we might feel unsure, anxious, or even hurt by our partner’s behavior.

It’s worth noting that consistency doesn’t necessarily mean that things never change. Rather, it means that we can rely on our partner to maintain certain behaviors or attitudes over time and most importantly to communicate effectively if there are any changes, especially when those changes are shifting things in our lives dramatically. For example, your partner might consistently prioritize spending time with you, even as other parts of their life change (like work or hobbies). However, the opposite might happen and they might not be able to give you the same level of attention/affection as they did at some point. Either way, the main objective of consistency is to be able to COMMUNICATE changes just as much as they occur. Communication is key with consistency because it shows that you make it a priority to fill in the gaps for moments when you are inconsistent, just as much as those moments when you are consistent. Of course, defining consistency in relationships can be difficult, as everyone’s expectations and needs will be slightly different. But ultimately, it comes down to feeling like we can trust our partner to behave in a way that aligns with our values and needs, and communicate with us whenever those needs cannot be met.

Consistency is the key to any successful relationship, be it a romantic partnership or a friendship. It refers to the act of being reliable, dependable, and predictable in your behavior and actions. Consistency is important because it helps build trust and establish a sense of security in the relationship. When you are consistent in your words and actions, the other person knows what to expect from you, which creates a sense of stability and safety. When there is inconsistency in a relationship, it can create anxiety, doubt, and mistrust. If you are constantly changing your mind, breaking promises, or acting in ways that are unpredictable, your partner or friend may start to question your motives and wonders, and they might even begin to wonder if they can really rely on you. This can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, and hurt. Have you ever heard the saying that actions speak louder than words? Someone who “talks about it” cannot live up to their expectations. No. You must BE ABOUT IT in order to earn your 10,000 hours of respect when it comes to the Holy Grail of consistency.

On the other hand, when you are consistent in your behavior(s), you show that you value the relationship(s) and the other person(s) feelings. You demonstrate that you are willing to put in the effort to maintain the relationship, which can strengthen the bond between you and whoever else is involved whether romantically, in the workplace or at home. Consistency also helps establish healthy boundaries and expectations, which can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts from arising. In short, consistency is important because it builds trust, establishes stability, and strengthens relationships. It is a crucial ingredient for any successful relationship and should be valued and nurtured. However, achieving consistency can be a challenging task, and it requires effort, patience, and self-awareness. Below, I will give you the key to tapping into a more consistent version of yourself.

In order to become more consistent, you MUST first be honest with yourself about your strengths, weaknesses, consistencies, and inconsistencies. You truly have to be able to sit back and analyze your behavior and get to KNOW THYSELF – which is another important construct that we delve deeply in many of the Diaries of Stacy Rahaka, stacyrahaka.com, journal entries. The reason I say you must know thyself first is because it is crucial to know which expectations you can and cannot live up to so that you don’t overcommit yourself and/or put yourself in a messy predicament simply because you did not know your limit in the first place. To be consistent, you also have to be able to realize that consistency is a skill that requires the art of patience and grace. You need to be able to be patient with yourself but also with others because nobody is perfect and everyone is truly trying their best, at least that’s the attitude that you should have. When you are graceful with your actions, doing things because you genuinely enjoy them and not to just merely cross of a list for recognition, etc, then you become more truthful to what you are doing and can put a more pure essence into what you are doing. I could say so much more about how being tactical and creative is important in being consistent, but we are already at 1111 words so that is a topic for a different day! For now, just remember that SLOW AND STEADY ALWAYS WINS THE RACE. Consistency is truly greater than speed. Focus on achieving RELIABLE and consistent efforts instead of quickies and fast bets, and watch your life transform.

With love,

Rahaka, Stacy.