It’s time to let the cat out of the bag. Our topic today has been the “secret” tool that I’ve been using to survive and thrive in this conquest we call life. It’s a lesson that has kept me glowing and growing through my best and worst days, and I owe many of my successes to my understanding of this one key lesson. Now, I’ll be honest with you, there have been many nights where I couldn’t sleep because the sorrow from my mother’s passing felt paralyzing. There have also been moments when I felt so on top of the world, that I could feel my aura glowing. Like Forest Gump said, life is like a box of chocolates. Unfortunately, you never know what you’re going to get. You must take the good with the bad, and vice-versa. However, remembering today’s lesson always brings me back to reality, keeping me humbled, grounded, and grateful. This lesson constantly reminds me that everything will be alright , and that while all good things do indeed come to an end, every moment should be cherished deeply. The tragic events that took place to give my mother Glioblastoma were bigger than me. And after years of journaling, talk therapy and evident soul-searching, I’ve come to the understanding that there was truly nothing I could have done to prevent her death. This gives me a lot of solace and peace these days. However, another pivotal piece of knowledge that has kept me going is knowing My WHY. Today’s lesson is not really a secret because I share it with practically anyone and everyone who asks me for advice either in real life or online, but it is nonetheless a classical lesson that plays a crucial role in understanding one’s self, and more importantly, what truly motivates a person in life. My hope is that once you finish reading this article, You will have an even better understanding of your self because the question that we will be focusing on today has been said to be the most important question one could ask: WHY.

There’s one question I want you to ponder today, and that is, “Why?” What is your “Why”… In other words, what is your driving force and factor? What is the thing that keeps you going through the ups and the downs… the thing that wakes you up on most days? This is a very important question that so many people fail to ask themselves, and as a result, depression, anxiety, drug addiction and alcoholism are running rampant in our society. It’s literally reflecting in our realities that many of us are not attune with our “Why”. But it’s not that we are ignorant or incapable of learning the lessons that life wants to teach us, no. It’s just that sometimes, nobody wants to tells us what’s already assumed to be understood. You hear things like “go after what your passionate for”, but nobody ever tells you how to discover your passions in the first place. Additionally, it can be extremely hard to maneuver life without a “manuscript”, and while I’m not arguing that some of us have more silver-linings than others, I can and will argue that it’s hard to make the necessary adjustments in life without the proper mentors and/or role models, especially when you know everything but your “why”. Mentorship, to me, is the ability to inspire others to ask themselves vital questions about life; it’s leading others to discover their true purpose. As some of you might know, I wear multiple hats at my state university as I work towards my dreams of earning an MD-PhD one day. I’m currently a teaching assistant, peer mentor, studio fellow, research assistant, president of a non-profit… the list goes on. However, there’s one thing I tell ALL my mentees and the students that I work with at my jobs… KNOW. YOUR. WHY. I think it is so important to identify and understand what gives you that extra oomph to keep on pushing every day. Is it your dreams and ideas of success? Money? Love? Health? Does an addiction wake you up? Are your goals of gaining or losing weight the primary force that drives your motivation? Or is it poverty? And never wanting to be in your situation again? Whatever the reason, identify WHAT gets you up in the morning, and you will be one step closer to finding your WHY.

Listen, if you don’t take anything else out of this article, please remember this: you can’t catch that which you can’t see. This is a powerful and dynamic statement that you should keep in mind because it rings so true. You simply cannot become something that you have not envisioned. You can want to become something desperately, but unless you truly picture yourself in that position, and take active steps towards becoming that said person, all you are doing is essentially day-dreaming. Of course, there’s a certain amount of resistance that you must face, and sometimes you have to measure out whether the risk is worth the reward. Nevertheless, I love the word “VISION” in the English language because it eloquently summarizes what thinking and planning for the future with imagination and wisdom can do. In Neuroscience, one of the important processes required in vision is the perception of form. German psychologists in the 1930s and 1940s, including Max Wertheimer (1880–1943), Kurt Koffka (1886–1941), and Wolfgang Köhler (1887–1967), argued that we create forms out of their component sensations based on the idea of the gestalt, a meaningfully organized whole. The idea of the gestalt is that the “whole is more than the sum of its parts.” In other words, the bigger picture is what matters. When you ask yourself questions such as “What is my Why?”, you allow for a network of neurons in your brain to form new connections and synapses that help you reflect on what you truly THINK is your reason for living, which further amplifies what you expect from life in the long run. Knowing your why is the mirror to your reality. This is why it is crucial to have positive thoughts when reflecting on this question, as you don’t want to manifest or harbor on negative thoughts or emotions. Whenever I ponder this life lesson, what is my why, I am always strikingly surprised at how passionate I am about certain things in my life. Knowing my why has helped me resolve conflict with others and within myself, because at the end of the day, I always remember that the whole is more than the sum of its parts. We are all part of something so much bigger than we could ever fathom. Why revel on anger, disappointment, or pain… when we can live in happiness, positivity, and glee? Once you find out your why, you become immensely positive and passionate about your goals and achieving them by any means necessary. At this level, you are able to overcome practically everything that life throws at you, especially with a solid support system. Understanding your why also paves a path for you to follow, because once you know WHY you want to do something, achieving it becomes only a matter of setting a plan forth.

So there you have it, Royalty Family. This is the “big secret” that keeps Stacy Rahaka going. I promise you, try reflecting on your WHY today, and a river of answers will start flowing to you like the Niagara Falls. Warning: You might get answers to questions you didn’t even ask! I’m not trying to be a dictator or anything, but here’s what I’d advise you to do after reading this article: close your eyes, count to 3, take a deep breathe, and ask yourself, “What is My WHY?” Let the question marinate into your spirit as you take another deep inhale, and allow yourself the time to be at peace with your thoughts. I would suggest writing down what comes to you afterwards, just so that you are constantly reminded of WHY you believe you are here. However, that is totally up to you. For the main part, I want you to reflect on questions such as, “What is my mission?” “What does my soul yearn and desire?” “Why am I here?” These are all great questions that will lead you to finding your purpose and aim in life. I want you to be completely honest and transparent with yourself while conducting this activity, because you won’t be lying to anyone but yourself if you are untruthful. If your “why” is money… say that. If your “why” is love… accept that. Whatever you feel is your “Why” for pushing through every day and chasing whatever your chasing (Education, career, etc), be REAL with yourself and thorough enough to know that you deserve to be at peace with yourself. I assure you that once you practice this, even once in a week, you will start moving with so much more calmness, clarity and precision in life – because every moment will deem itself an opportunity and chance for you to trek closer towards your goals, and ultimately, your why. Thank you so much for reading this far. Subscribe to my newsletter and feel free to donate in the “Thank You” page.

Besos! 😘

Stacy Rahaka.