Yesterday, I was walking with my friend Abby when she asked me a very intriguing question. “Stacy,” she said, “Are sexual soul-ties real?” I was perplexed. I’d contemplated this topic before, but I’d never been asked that question so directly. The question forced me to stop and think. On a scientific level, sexual soul ties don’t make sense because there is no logical PROOF or explanation for them. But on a personal level, I 100% know that who you have sex with has significant and sometimes grave consequences to your sacred energy.

Sex, or as I call it, Sexual Energy Exchange, is a two-dimensional experience that was created for reproduction and genetic survival. However, after discovering the pleasures of sex, human beings have made it an extracurricular activity… something to do “just for fun.” When I was young, my aunt always used to tell me this: don’t lose your virginity because once it’s taken from you, you’ll never get it back. I know it might sound like a primitive concept in the western world, but sex is considered highly psychical in certain regions of the world. In other words, some people believe that you adapt the traits and qualities of the person/people you have sex with, and this connection is called a “soul tie.”

In Africa, a woman’s virginity is considered her bride price. Therefore, a woman with one sexual partner – her husband – is deemed worthy of love and a family; while a woman who is sexually promiscuous is considered the bottom barrel of society. Some feminists would call this bull****, and they’re not wrong. But in order to understand why things are like this in Africa, you must first understand how soul ties function, and why having one (or many) is considered a curse in certain parts of the world such as Asia and Africa.

A soul tie, in my opinion, is a deep, spiritual connection to the soul – a callus typically formed after having intercourse with someone. It’s usually marked by feeling a deep connection to the person you were intimate with, and it often masks itself as love when often it’s just lust. According to folk tales, once you have sex with someone, everyone they’ve ever had sex with become a part of your spirit… a leech on your soul. It’s peculiar to think of something so natural so deeply, but it’s important to understand that according to our ancestors, once you have sex with someone, you’re having sex with all of their partners and their partners’ partners.

So, does Stacy Rahaka think that soul ties are real? Yes and no. And I’ll tell you why.

The “no” aspect of it is solely because, as I mentioned earlier, there is no scientific basis for soul-ties. It cannot be proven whether they are real or not. Therefore, as a young neuroscientist, I can’t be too quick to say that soul-ties are real and not just a fictional part of reality. Human beings love a good story. They love feeling like things finally makes sense. So, I understand the need for some people to believe that soul-ties are real. I get it. However:

I believe that sex is sacred, and that intercourse is meant only for two people who are ready to make a commitment to each other for the rest of their lives. I believe that it’s dangerous to have sexual relations with random people, and I believe that one-night stands are slowly but surely destroying the core of humanity. I also believe, however, that individuals have free will, and therefore, I cannot judge anyone who chooses to have sex with whomever they want to.

Soul ties are real, in my opinion, because I’ve experienced one.

I remember laying down with someone I thought I’d get married to, only to have sex with them and realize that they were literally, actually possessed… or at the very least, depressed. I’ll never forget that day. I was in a perfectly fine mood before the act, but then the minute it was over, a rush of woe and sorrow overwhelmed my body; sinking me further into the king-sized bed. I recall seeing his soul for the first time. I mean, really seeing his soul. And realizing that he was not in a good place at all, and now neither was I. Later on that night, he had a mental breakdown and told me that he knew he was a “sinner”, and that he thanked God for bringing me into his life. When he and I finally broke up, it felt like a portion of me had died with the relationship… like I was missing a piece of my soul.

Imagine gluing two leather belts together then ripping them apart. Pieces of leather will be stuck to the opposite of each belt. The concept of soul ties is similar; connecting with someone sexually will leave some of that person’s spirit with you — whether good or bad. The more sexual connections you have with different people, the more a bit of each person is left with you, and pieces of yourself become a part of them. So even if the sexual relationship is short-lived, the soul tie becomes perpetual.

I’m not religious at all, but there’s an interesting verse in the bible that I think perfectly summarizes what a soul tie is: 1 Corinthians 6:15. It reads, “Do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “The two shall become one flesh.” The Bible was extremely misogynistic, so ignore the prostitute part and think of the bigger picture: the two become ONE FLESH. Think back to the folklore tale I told you about earlier in this blog post: that you acquire the energy and spirit of your partner and ALL of their partners. Wouldn’t it make sense, then, that if you lay down with one person, and they lay down with someone else, that you three have subsequently exchanged sacred energy with other, and all of each others’ partners? I don’t know about you, but it makes sense to me.

P.s. this post was not intended to cause controversy or make anyone feel demeaned and ostracized. I simply was answering a question that I deemed necessary to answer. Plus, I’ve missed you all so much and it was about time I made a new post. It’s finals week at my university so I’ve been swamped with school work, but best believe I’ll be back and better once the semester is over. I love you all so much and by the way, feel free to let me know in the comments if you believe in soul ties or not. ALL thoughts are welcomed.

Per usual,

Peace and love,

Stacy Rahaka.

Muah!