Chemistry, in my humble opinion, is the daily, around the clock collision of atoms at an observable, random and extraordinary rate. Chemistry is intangible. It’s unseen. And so is love. Both are complex and mystifying processes, and they truly become more fascinating once you grasp their foundations and equations. In order to fully understand love, you must first understand the basics of chemistry. Life and love, much like the colliding atoms, are random and filled with energy. But as random as love might seem, it’s chemistry is actually very sequential and predictable. Today, we’ll be analyzing whether chemistry, the ability to relate to others at an atomic level, is important for love.
Lust, as described in one of my previous articles titled The Science of Lust, is an unbearable and uncontrollable feeling of want; a sense of needing something that you maybe shouldn’t have. Lust is a feeling that alters the chemicals in our brains. It’s also what drives reproduction – the key element to survival and evolution. Lust is what makes people attracted to each other enough to get naked, have sex, and have babies. Love, on the other hand, is about sacrifice. It’s about caring deeply and affectionately for someone – regardless of what they might do, or how they may act. Love takes an immense amount of offering and devotion of one self to the other person. It takes rich dedication and endearment; while lust only requires mere feelings. Nevertheless, there’s a lot of chemistry behind love and lust, and today we’ll be going over just that.
I’m personally mystified by the art, language and chemistry of lust. I’m interested in the tango of how people interact, combine, and adapt to one another; and specifically how individuals change in order to impress those whom they lust for. I think of lust like a game: an episode of survival of the fittest. Contemplating the chemicals that are released when one is “in lust” is mesmerizing because chemistry is mystifying. The complex emotional and psychological interaction between two people tells us so much about what will become of them over time because time, and true chemistry, never lie. Chemistry demands everything out of you including blood, sweat, and tears. All of which are complex mixtures of chemical compounds.
Everything moves at an impeccable and telling way. Everything you see and witness, you have already created in your head. It’s all a part of a beautiful illusion. There’s common Hindu talk about reaching Moksha, which is Enlightenment or true bliss, and there’s a Buddhist proverb that accounts that desire is the root of all evils. To be completely honest, I wholly agree with these principles. The knowledge that is out there, thanks to technology, has seemingly increased the abundance of the Universe. By this, I mean that our collective consciousness as human beings has risen, and as a result, we’re desiring more out of life, but we’re also asking ourselves questions such as what is love? and what does it take to be in love? Besides, love is the ultimate gift from the Mother Moon and Father Sun that nourish us; it’s a choice of ultimate commitment… day in, night out.
Chemistry in a relationship can also be described as a chemical connection between two people. I’ve personally noticed that when there’s chemistry in a relationship, two people want to spend as much time together as possible, and they enjoy doing simple tasks together, including household chores. There’s different levels to chemistry: physical attraction, emotional attraction, sexual attraction, mental attraction and even financial attraction. All of these play a significant role in the science of love because they come together, such as the atoms I aforementioned, to create the image of an ideal partner. Like the different molecules that are required for a chemical reaction to occur, love requires individuals to come together and mesh into one in every way possible, a conquest that has not at all been simple, as the divorce rates in America alone peak nearly at 60%.
According to relationship expert and social psychologist, Jenni Jacobsen, chemistry is that natural spark that you have with someone, and it doesn’t fade over time. This is seen among couples who still have “butterflies” when they see their partner pull into the driveway after a day of work. These butterflies have an official name: limerence. The answer to “Is chemistry important in a relationship?” is a resounding yes. Think back to the concept of limerence. In order for a relationship to have the potential to last, you must first establish limerence or the state of being head over heels for each other. In order to be “in love”, you must want to communicate to that person everyday, be with them every chance that you get, and even face challenges together because you know deep down that you will overcome those challenges together.
Chemistry in a relationship is incredibly important because, without it, something will always feel like it’s missing. Chemistry in a relationship brings excitement and intensity, and a relationship can be brutally boring without it. This can make it difficult to go through the mundane periods or tasks of life together, day in and day out. On the other hand, when there is chemistry in a relationship, even the most simple tasks will be fun because you’ll look forward to simply being around your partner. Chemistry in a relationship brings emotional closeness and that feeling of being in tune with your partner. When there is no relationship chemistry, even the seemingly perfect couple may not have a successful relationship.
So, there you have it. There are my thoughts on whether chemistry is important in love. I’d like to add that certain neurotransmitters play a significant role in how you perceive someone who you might find attractive. For example, high levels of dopamine and a related hormone, norepinephrine, are released during attraction. These chemicals make us giddy, energetic, and euphoric, even leading to decreased appetite and insomnia – which means you actually can be so “in love” that you can’t eat and can’t sleep. It’s important to know stats like these so that you can understand that chemistry is truly biophysical and mechanical, and that certain chemicals are released even when you think you’re in love. This knowledge not only creates an awareness of self, but it will also allow you to set boundaries for yourself so that you’re not falling head over heals for every guy/girl that you meet.
When I was going through severe heartbreak, one of my friends said to me, “Don’t worry, the trash always takes itself out.” These words stuck with me. They made me realize that when you don’t have chemistry with someone, whether or not you like it, the outcome will always be null. As I mentioned before, a lack of chemistry will almost always make you feel like something is missing… so much so, that sometimes you might even start to believe that you are the problem. Simultaneously, the lack of chemistry in a relationship will make you feel like you’re lacking a sense of self worth, almost like you’re settling for less. This is like directly volunteering your heart for unrequited love; because the other person more than likely feels the lack of connection as well. I wouldn’t wish unrequited love on my worst enemy, so it’s safe to say that my best advice to you is to only date/be with people you genuinely have a connection with.
Love isn’t easy, but neither is life. As someone who just recently got into a relationship with someone whom I completely adore 🥰 , I can honestly say that Chemistry plays a significant role in how successful a relationship will be. If the sparks aren’t there, you simply can’t sustain that relationship… it’s as easy as 1,2,3. My best advice to people who are struggling with chemistry is to explore each other. Dig into each other’s brains and bodies, and understand that you’re taking a major leap of faith by giving so much of yourself to someone else. If that doesn’t do it, it’s okay to walk away. Maybe you aren’t going to come across a connection immediately, and that’s okay! Just be patient and be persistent about what you want and need in life, and I promise everything will work out. Per usual, thank you for reading my blog this far, I love and appreciate you, Royalty Fam. If you resonate with the article, share it with a friend to show me some love. Thank you ❤️✨🌹✍🏾
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