My heart was torn into pieces. My soul was shattered, left with nothing but creases. I couldn’t believe that this was happening to me… a heartbreak disaster, and all I could do was plea. Plea with myself, plea with him…plea with everything because I didn’t want to admit that it was over on such a whim. The day that I sent that text, I knew it was over. Yet all I ever wanted was some damn closure. How could I beset myself like this? All I wanted was that one final kiss…

Luckily, my friends were there to pick me up. The showered me with bliss, reminded me why I’m so loved. I took their advice and did what they said; watched mindless T.V, slept, ate, did everything except live in dread. It was still hard, I’m not going to lie. But my girls kept my head up, helped me stopped asking myself “why”. At one point I was so devastated, that my doctor looked at me and said “honey you look disseminated.” I knew that i couldn’t keep living like this, but it was so hard, I just couldn’t snap out of it.

All I could think of was all the months that had gone. Night to dawn, I felt like a pawn. I wanted so badly to get back to myself. But it was almost as hard as tapping into a different realm. All I could think of was him and his scent. All I could think of was how my life was now discontent. I shuddered and cried, put aside my pride. I wept until I slept and slept until I couldn’t reflect… anymore. They say leave your worries at the door, but what happens when your woes are already on the floor?

The gym is another place that kept my sanity. It sounds like vanity but it worked better than profanity. I worked out my worries and left them with the weights. I sweated out my hair and left my sadness at the gate. I then grabbed me a plate and took myself on an indoor date. Another thing I did was take long, hot showers. These relieved my mind and reminded me that life is like a box of flowers. Once you see the beauty and splendor of life, it’s hard to be sad about something so silly and strife.

Friends, food, and fitness. The three Fs that saved me from sickness. Sickness of the heart is hard to cure. So make sure that you’re taking care of yours. Rule #1 don’t fall in love too quickly: he/she might leave you and it will be prickly. Rule #2 don’t always lead with your heart; sometimes your head knows what’s better for the part. Rule #3, live with glee; life is too short to for you to not be. I hope that you see that if I could make it, so can you, you’re very much capable.

With nothing but love,

Your girl,

S. Rahaka.

Xo